It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
