How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
