If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
