how can u be prego again
babies were throwing up all over the place
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
