if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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