ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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