Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have already put on my inside pants.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
