Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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