ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
