Say something about gay babies.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We had to coat check the pizza.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
