Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
the raccoons are back...
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