vagina is talking i cant
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
