Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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