Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
