I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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