now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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