is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
