im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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