can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
