forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
