The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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