if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize