mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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