Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
