i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
