There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
