I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
