I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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