Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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