It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
