Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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