It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you never un-have a 4some
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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