ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
