You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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