I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
