hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize