Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just pee around me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
