Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
