It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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