She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
