My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
