You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i came on her dog
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
