I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
