Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
