woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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