i don't like sucking hair
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
