not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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