And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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