Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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