About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
