OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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