Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
