I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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