Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
