i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
