He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
