There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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