Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
