just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
