I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
