Duck Duck Cougar?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
