Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
