just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
