i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
