I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
