Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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